Has the fear of rejection been stopping you? Here’s a story that will change your perspective!

  

It so happened one day at the basement of Biological Sciences, Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, underneath a tree, a friend and myself saw a lady (who was our class mate then). She was somehow restless and we were forced to ask what was wrong with her. It happened that she was very thirsty and had no money on her, but then, she saw some fellowship guys carrying bags of sachet water to be used for a fellowship program nearby. She could have asked them for a sachet of water but she was scared that they might decline to her request. The fear of rejection – of hearing a NO – overshadowed the pleasure of having her thirst quenched. She never even considered the slightest possibility of her getting a YES response.

I could have just asked on her behalf but just thought that if the fear of rejection could stop her on something as small as a sachet of water, then it will likely go on to hunt her in even greater issues paramount to her life and happiness. So we decided to help her out. We taught her some basic principles about fear; that FEAR is just an acronym of False Expectations Appearing Real, How fear can take away her happiness if she gives in to it,  that the only way to overcome her fears is to face them. We did all those within a minute or two and thank God those guys with the bags of sachet water  were still within reach.

She took courage and ask courteously and she was given a sachet that she asked for. Out of excitement, she almost jumped on me. She was really grateful to us. You might be wondering that what’s the big deal there? She got excited because she just learnt how to overcome her fears, saved from the paralysis of the fear of rejection. She said she has been standing there for almost like forever and couldn’t get herself to ask.

The reality is that the fear of rejection is something that a lot of of has suffered from and are still suffering from. Even if it’s not on small issues as asking for a sachet of water, it’s mostly on even more important issues.  Many of us have been stopped from aiming higher, trying harder or even reaching farther because of the fear of rejection.

The fact remains that the fear of rejection is something we MUST all learn to overcome if we will ever achieve anything worthwhile.

It’s been proven beyond doubt that the easiest, fastest and surest way to get whatever you want out of life is to ASK. When you ask enough people for whatever you reasonably want, the law of averages will guarantee your success. It will not guarantee that you’ll always get a desirable response everytime you ask, but it will guarantee that you get enough positive response to enable you succeed.  If you can master the techniques of Asking, you’ll take your entire life and career to a whole new level.

Thomas Edison became the world’s greatest inventor with 1093 patents by conducting more failed experiments than anybody else in the world. He failed his way into becoming the greatest inventor in the world.

         

Never expect to succeed the very first time in everything you attempt. If you do not fail some of the time, you are attempting too little and will accomplish nothing worthwhile.

To Your Success & Fulfilment!

Bode Araoye

Life Strategist

Trainer, Coach, & Keynote Speaker on Personal Development

Smart Students Finish Rich

Amazingly, the single biggest skill that can make or mar our financial success is not taught in school.

Despite the fact that everything in our lives is linked in one way or the other to money; that money either enhances or inhibits what we can do or have; that money affects the quality of our lives, majority still go about learning about money only by trial and error. We would never learn to swim or drive that way. So, why don’t we take as disciplined approach to learning about basic money skills?

If we can’t change the educational system, the least we could do is to effect change by being at the pinnacle of it. That is the reason behind EQUIP 360’s SMART financial literacy project.

“To equip Nigerians to take full ownership of their financial life by teaching them to be financially intelligent while providing them with practical strategies to do so”. 

SMART is curriculum based and has different structures for different target audience. There is the SMart Kids Grow Rich, SMart Students Finish Rich, Smart Employees Retires Rich amongst others.

Smart Students Finish Rich is designed for secondary school students in Nigeria and teaches basic financial intelligence to help students gain requisite financial skills to give them a strong financial head-start to life so that they can grow up to become confident and competent adults. It is not everything in financial intelligence but more than enough to give them strong financial foundations in formats that are relevant and accessible.

It teaches students some very important principles upon which financial success is built. Such as the concept of Savings, Paying yourself first, Spending plans, Spending Less Than You Earn, Passive income, and Leverage amongst others. They also get to gain a basic understanding about money and how it affects us, earning power and several legit ways to earn, differentiating between assets and liabilities, cash flow quadrants, Smart Goal settings, differentiating between needs and wants, and other simple money concepts.

There is a training workbook designed for the participant with exciting activities for each concepts and modules to get the students engaged and also to test their understanding as the training unfolds. There is also a session where students get to watch a 9-minute video on financial intelligence. We also have question and answer seasion, group discussions and interactive sessions just to make the training come to life as much as possible.

Financial Education is definitely one of the greatest bargains of life.

#EQUIP360 …enhancing qualities under-developed in people.

# SMART …financial education for all.

#SmartStudentsFinishRich workshop @ Obafemi Awolowo University International School on the 9th of December, 2015.

 

Some of the students in a group photograph after the workshop, holding their workbook in their hands

 

Is Life Really Unfair?

Often times in this part of the world where I come from have i heard people said words like, “life is not fair”. In fact, it’s a very common thing.

Growing up, I remembered having found myself in situations that made me uttered the same words that ‘life is unfair’. I’ve gone into arguments with friends because of those words and I’ve tried to analyze that same paradigm with few other friends.

I realized that the time I’d uttered such words in the past were times when life was very difficult for me; times when things were not going as planned and times when i felt that i had not been privileged to have enough opportunities. I realized  that the situation was the same for people that usually utter such words.

I remembered having marvelled at the concept of choice. How we don’t get to choose our place of birth, time of birth, our parents, skin colour, our race and also our time of death. Life must really be a privilege i thought. Little wonder some people are ususally regarded as “less privileged”.

There is a common yoruba saying that, “he who has a head, has no cap and he who has a cap, has no head”. That is the reaction that yoruba people used to give whenever they feel that opportunity is in the hands of someone who doesn’t know its worth especially when they themselves feel they don’t have enough opportunities.

Yet, what usually amazes me is how the pages of history are filled with names and stories of people who, despite having no background and a very humble beginning, managed to achieve greatness.

I realized that truly, we all have a choice. The reality is that we don’t get to choose our circumstances but we choose how we respond to those circumstances. It is not circusmstances that define our reality, it is how we choose to respond.

I am not here to preach to you. Neither am I here to debate whether or not life is fair. I just want to  give you a proposition that you can choose to accept or not.

The reality is that no matter what has happened to you or what is happening to you right now, there are people who have gone through similar situations or even worse than yours and had managed to turn it to their advantage. The reality is there are some who had given up on their lives too because of simailar situations. It’s all about choice.

No matter what you are passing through, understand that it could be worse. The reality is not even far fetched. It’s all around you. If your parents are not supportive, realize that some don’t even have parents. If your child is causing you troubles, some don’t even have a child. If your meal is bad, some don’t even have anything to eat. If you are poor and healthy, understand that there are some wealthy people who have never enjoyed a great health. Is it your house or shoe that is bad? Or even your clothes? Understand some don’t have a home, some don’t even have legs and yet some have gone mad and could only parade the streets without clothes on. If you have graduated but no job, understand some can’t even afford to go to school. It’s all about perspective.

The reality is that, as you look at people who are ahead of you and think that life is unfair, understand that there are those below you too that felt that life is unfair because you are better than them.

Believing that life is unfair is a great problem because more than words, it’s a paradigm. It manifests as self-pity, pessimism, and low self-esteem. It makes you feel helpless, and take a passive approach to life. Youwill simply live by merely accepting whatever comes your way and you will never stand for anything in life.

Every challenge is here to teach you something and also to make you become better. If only you could realize. Focus on what you can do and be grateful for all that you have. Develop yourself and learn from every situation you find yourself. Learn from other people’s experiences too and realize that whatever you choose to believe and how you choose to act is up to you.

You have the power to respond powerfully when faced with challenging times and as you choose to act powerfully, you will realize be amazed how how beautiful your life will turn out to be.

“IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO YOU”!

To Your Happiness!

Bode Araoye

Life Strategist | Personal Growth Expert | Business Trainer

 

Have you got some problems? If Yes, Congrats!

Source: Have you got some problems? If Yes, Congrats!

Have you got some problems? If Yes, Congrats!

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when everything seems wrong? A time when nothing seems to be working? Have you ever lost hope on your dreams? Have you ever lost your loved ones? Have you ever felt that life is unfair to you?

Are you even currently in a fix? Have you got the feelings like your world has come to a stand still? Like all hopes are lost? Have you had or presently having issues in your marriage, at work, with your friends or families? Have you ever felt like the whole world is against you?

If your response is YES to any of the scenarios above just like my own response is an emphatic YES to most of the above scenarios, then i want to put it to you that you are not alone in this. The reality is that every single person on this planet “E” have got their own share of challenges. Problems are part of life. Overcoming them is simply what makes life meaningful.

If you have problems, then congratulations. It’s a sign that you are alive!

Amazingly, people used to pray that they should never have problems in life. Some even observe fasting, hoping that will ensure they never have problems again in life only for them to eventually feel as if their prayers were never answered. The reality is, it will never be answered.

A problem-free life is truly an illusion – a mirage in the desert and to run after such life, is to run after an elusive fantasy. The only set of people that are “free” of problems are the dwellers of the grave.

What you should realize however is that nothing is permanent in life. Life is fleeting and so is everything in it. If you ever find yourself undergoing tough times, take deep breaths and say to yourself aloud that, “This too shall pass”. Truly, time heals everything.

If you have ever overcome a very tough period in your life, you will realize that truly nothing is permanent and everything shall surely pass by.

Realize that no matter how bad things seems, it could be worse and there is always a reason to be grateful. Be grateful for all you have in other that you might get what you want soon.

Being grateful increases your sense of wellbeing, creates hope and optimism for the future – regardless of how the present looks like.

Realize that it is not what happens that defines you, it is how you respond to what happens that makes all the difference.

Focus on what you can control. Remain positive and never lose hope. Make the most of every blessed day and ensure you develop yourself, build your capacity so that you can become bigger than your present challenges.

Remember that every day has its own potentials, never lose it. Every tomorrow has its own opportunities, Don’t throw away its beauty.

Take time to reflect on your life and learn from the mistakes you have made rather than put blame on life itself or external circumstances. Don’t forget, that you are not alone and the world is not against you.

 

Put things into proper perspective and i tell you, whatever you are going through will surely pass!

To Your Happiness!

Bode Araoye

Life Strategist | Personal Growth Expert | Business Trainer

How heavy is this glass of water? The answer will surprise you!

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be  asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “how heavy is this glass of water?”
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied. “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for day, my arm will feel numb, and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes”.

She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything”.

Remember to put the glass down!

(Copied from John Assaraf’s timeline on fb).

Metaprogram 4, 5 (7)

  

4. How best will an individual work? Working Style

This set of metaprogram defines the working pattern of an individual.
An individual with a Proximity pattern prefers to work with others and still maintain a sole responsibility for a task. They love being in charge but not alone.

Words of influence – you will be in charge of the task and will be working with

Likely Career – Management

An Independent pattern is characterized by a person being solely independent of others.
People with independent working style can’t work well under great deal of supervision and usually have great difficulty working with other people.

Words of Influence – Autonomy

Likely Career – starting your own business, any kind of work or job position that offers a great level of autonomy

People with Cooperative pattern function best as part of a group. They want to share responsibility for any task they take on, irrespective of whether they are leading or following.

They thrive on a large amount of feedback and human interaction.

Words of Influence – let’s do this together, as a team

Likely Career – any kind of work environment where Teamwork is very important

5. How do people look @ human interaction? : Sorting Procedure

The next set of metaprograms make us realize that some people look at life in terms of what they can gain personally while others look at it in terms of what they can gain with others. People either sort by self or by others.
People don’t always fall into one extreme or the other. Those who sort only by self, become self-absorbed egotists while those who sort only by others become martyrs

Individuals who strictly Sort by Self look at human interaction in terms of what is in it for them personally. All they look out for in any situation is how they can benefit.
Self-sorting individuals tend to lean backward, remain bored and unresponsive to what others are saying.

Words of Influence – what you’ll gain, you will benefit, you can enjoy.

Likely Career – Auditor, Researcher

Individuals who sort by others look at human interaction in terms of what they can do for themselves and others. They always have the interest of others at heart. They always pay attention to others while talking – they are good listeners. They lean towards others and show concern for what they are saying.

Words of Influence – others will benefit, how you could help others with this, win-win situation.

Likely Career – Doctor, Ideal Customer care or any service business.

To be continued…

To Your success!

Bode Araoye 

Life Strategist | Personal Growth Expert | Business Trainer

A Story From The Jungle!

           

Once upon a time. On a very lovely morning in the jungle, a lion woke up early in the morning and knelt down to pray. He said, “God, i have not eaten for the past three days and if i do not eat today, i will die. Please God, as i set out for my day, grant me something to eat in order that i may remain alive by the end of the day”. Amen, so the lion prayed. 

In another part of the jungle on that same morning, a zebra woke up and also knelt down to pray but in a different tone. He said, ” God, i want to thank you for keeping me safe till this morning, for always protecting me from the evil eyes in the jungle. My Lord, as i set out for today, protect me and keep me safe till the end of today”. Amen, so the zebra prayed.

At eactly 12:00pm, the lion and the zebra met at a point in the jungle. As the lion sighted the zebra, he said, ” my God, let your will be done”. The zebra also saw the lion and said, “my God, now this is an evil eye, save me Lord, so i can have the cause to glorify you by the end of today”. 

The scene was paused, and the host of heaven descended to ask people that whose prayer should be answered, the Lion’s or the Zebra’s? People gave varying opinions on the issue. Some said Lion should be saved from dieing while others argued that Zebra too deserve to live. Someone said, it should be zebra’s prayer that God should answer because when the zebra prayed, he started with thanksgiving. 

The reality is that, the animal who runs the fastest will win, every single time in the jungle. 

Every lion must learn how to identify meats just as zebras must learn how to identify grasses. There is a single course that unites all the animal in the jungle. It determines the survival in the jungle. That single most important course is called “Running101”. 

Just as running skills is essential for survival in the jungle, financial intelligence is crucial for survival in the real world.

Everything in our lives is linked one way or the other to money. Money either enhances or inhibits  what we can do and what we can have. It affects the quality of our lives. Even those that claim that money isn’t important often spend their entire lives working for it. 

If money is so important, why do most of us learn about it only by trial and error? We would never learn to drive or swim that way, so why don’t we take as disciplined an approach to learning about basic money management?  

Isn’t it amazing that the single biggest skill that can make or mar our financial success is not taught in school? 

If your goal is to build wealth and enjoy financial security, Financial Literacy is the essential skill that you must develop. There is no other alternative. 

Financial education is one of the great bargains in life. It costs little and returns huge rewards. It is the best investment you can make. Competency with money translates to competency with life. 

I want to learn about money, where do i start from? There are several practical books in the self help industry on finance. Robert kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad, His Cash flow Quadrant and several other books are a good place to start. Everything starts with paradigm shift. With the right paradigm about money, you will be able to take your financial life to a whole new level. 

Read practical books, attend financial seminars done by practical teachers. Learn the skills so that you can apply them in your own life. I am not talking about seminars that promise quick fix or get rich quick. If your financial life is in shambles, then you need to get a financial coach to work with you to help you put your life back on track. 

The best time to learn a skill is before you need it. Invest in your own financial education. “Empty your pockets to fill your head, so that your head can fill your pockets for the rest of your life”. Those were the advice of my mentor, Adeolu Akinyemi.

Feel free to get in touch with me on how to get started. I can help you with soft copies of great finacial books, financial tools and coaching if needed.

To Your Success!

Bode Araoye

Life Strategist | Personal Growth Expert | Business Trainer

METAPROGRAM 3

  

 Possibility Vs. Necessity ; How do individuals deal with rules?

Individuals who are motivated by Possibility are motivated by what they want to do. They always seek options, experiences and choices. They are interested in what is known and also in what can evolve. They always seek for better ways to do things. They crave novel ideas and opportunities. If routine sets in, they find it difficult to follow through with projects.

They are always on the lookout for new challenges, new enterprise and new opportunities.  They are good at setting up processes and systems.

Words of Influence: Infinite alternatives, endless possibilities, flexibility, the sky is the limit…

Likely Career: Architecture, design, innovative companies, and any work that will be diversifying in no time.

  

People who sort by Necessity do things because they must. These people go through life taking what comes and what is available. They are interested in what is known and secure and so are not cut out for looking for infinite opportunities and experiences. They are overwhelmed by too many choices and are good at following rules and procedures. 

They are not pissesd out by routines and are excellent at following through with projects. 

Words of Influence: follow these procedures, the right way to do this is, proven to work…

Likely Career: Book keeping, Cashiers, jobs that require paying attention to details, steadfastness and consistency, quality control, and any job that places value on permanence.

To be continued…

I hope you find this educative!

Committed To Your  Success!

Bode Araoye

Life Strategist | Personal Growth Expert | Business Traine

METAPROGRAMS 2

 

2. Frame of Reference: How do you know you have done a good job?

The second metaprogram deals with frame of reference which is the key to confidence. It involves how we determine our needs and desires and also how we evaluate our success.

Where do we get our authority, rights, privileges, and permissions for our actions and decisions? How much and what kind of feedbackdo we need to know how well we have performed?

The answers to the above questions lie in our referencing frames which could either be “Internal or External”. 

For Individuals who have Internal Frame of Reference, their motivation come from within themselves. They judge their performance internally and trust their instincts. They place little value on opinion of others whether positive or negative.  An extreme Internal Frame of reference can go beyond confidence to arrogance.

Once they are not convinced about their work, no amount of external approval will convince them. They however require little supervision – they are self-starters. They will make a very good and effective leader but will need to be able to take in informetion effectively from the outside as well.

Words of Influence (to influence such people) : what’s your opinion on this? Only you can decide, you know what is best.

Likely career : Self employment, entrepreneurship, any job where they can enjoy some autonomy in decision making.

Individuals who have External Frame of Reference seek outside proof; external approval before they can be certain they have done a good job. Motivation comes from outside and they so much dwell on feedback from others. If they are not given feedback, they feel lost and won’t be able to work well. They work best under supervision because they are not self motivated. Such people can not work from home. They need a clear communication of what is expected from them.

Note : Metaprograms are both context and stress-related. If you have done something for years, you will probably have strong internal frame of reference for it and if you are new to it, your reference will be external as to what is right or wrong.

To be continued…

I hope you find this piece educative!

To Your Success!

Bode Araoye

Life Strategist | Personal Growth Expert | Business Trainer