Is Life Really Unfair?

Often times in this part of the world where I come from have i heard people said words like, “life is not fair”. In fact, it’s a very common thing.

Growing up, I remembered having found myself in situations that made me uttered the same words that ‘life is unfair’. I’ve gone into arguments with friends because of those words and I’ve tried to analyze that same paradigm with few other friends.

I realized that the time I’d uttered such words in the past were times when life was very difficult for me; times when things were not going as planned and times when i felt that i had not been privileged to have enough opportunities. I realized  that the situation was the same for people that usually utter such words.

I remembered having marvelled at the concept of choice. How we don’t get to choose our place of birth, time of birth, our parents, skin colour, our race and also our time of death. Life must really be a privilege i thought. Little wonder some people are ususally regarded as “less privileged”.

There is a common yoruba saying that, “he who has a head, has no cap and he who has a cap, has no head”. That is the reaction that yoruba people used to give whenever they feel that opportunity is in the hands of someone who doesn’t know its worth especially when they themselves feel they don’t have enough opportunities.

Yet, what usually amazes me is how the pages of history are filled with names and stories of people who, despite having no background and a very humble beginning, managed to achieve greatness.

I realized that truly, we all have a choice. The reality is that we don’t get to choose our circumstances but we choose how we respond to those circumstances. It is not circusmstances that define our reality, it is how we choose to respond.

I am not here to preach to you. Neither am I here to debate whether or not life is fair. I just want to  give you a proposition that you can choose to accept or not.

The reality is that no matter what has happened to you or what is happening to you right now, there are people who have gone through similar situations or even worse than yours and had managed to turn it to their advantage. The reality is there are some who had given up on their lives too because of simailar situations. It’s all about choice.

No matter what you are passing through, understand that it could be worse. The reality is not even far fetched. It’s all around you. If your parents are not supportive, realize that some don’t even have parents. If your child is causing you troubles, some don’t even have a child. If your meal is bad, some don’t even have anything to eat. If you are poor and healthy, understand that there are some wealthy people who have never enjoyed a great health. Is it your house or shoe that is bad? Or even your clothes? Understand some don’t have a home, some don’t even have legs and yet some have gone mad and could only parade the streets without clothes on. If you have graduated but no job, understand some can’t even afford to go to school. It’s all about perspective.

The reality is that, as you look at people who are ahead of you and think that life is unfair, understand that there are those below you too that felt that life is unfair because you are better than them.

Believing that life is unfair is a great problem because more than words, it’s a paradigm. It manifests as self-pity, pessimism, and low self-esteem. It makes you feel helpless, and take a passive approach to life. Youwill simply live by merely accepting whatever comes your way and you will never stand for anything in life.

Every challenge is here to teach you something and also to make you become better. If only you could realize. Focus on what you can do and be grateful for all that you have. Develop yourself and learn from every situation you find yourself. Learn from other people’s experiences too and realize that whatever you choose to believe and how you choose to act is up to you.

You have the power to respond powerfully when faced with challenging times and as you choose to act powerfully, you will realize be amazed how how beautiful your life will turn out to be.

“IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO YOU”!

To Your Happiness!

Bode Araoye

Life Strategist | Personal Growth Expert | Business Trainer

 

Have you got some problems? If Yes, Congrats!

Have you ever experienced a time in your life when everything seems wrong? A time when nothing seems to be working? Have you ever lost hope on your dreams? Have you ever lost your loved ones? Have you ever felt that life is unfair to you?

Are you even currently in a fix? Have you got the feelings like your world has come to a stand still? Like all hopes are lost? Have you had or presently having issues in your marriage, at work, with your friends or families? Have you ever felt like the whole world is against you?

If your response is YES to any of the scenarios above just like my own response is an emphatic YES to most of the above scenarios, then i want to put it to you that you are not alone in this. The reality is that every single person on this planet “E” have got their own share of challenges. Problems are part of life. Overcoming them is simply what makes life meaningful.

If you have problems, then congratulations. It’s a sign that you are alive!

Amazingly, people used to pray that they should never have problems in life. Some even observe fasting, hoping that will ensure they never have problems again in life only for them to eventually feel as if their prayers were never answered. The reality is, it will never be answered.

A problem-free life is truly an illusion – a mirage in the desert and to run after such life, is to run after an elusive fantasy. The only set of people that are “free” of problems are the dwellers of the grave.

What you should realize however is that nothing is permanent in life. Life is fleeting and so is everything in it. If you ever find yourself undergoing tough times, take deep breaths and say to yourself aloud that, “This too shall pass”. Truly, time heals everything.

If you have ever overcome a very tough period in your life, you will realize that truly nothing is permanent and everything shall surely pass by.

Realize that no matter how bad things seems, it could be worse and there is always a reason to be grateful. Be grateful for all you have in other that you might get what you want soon.

Being grateful increases your sense of wellbeing, creates hope and optimism for the future – regardless of how the present looks like.

Realize that it is not what happens that defines you, it is how you respond to what happens that makes all the difference.

Focus on what you can control. Remain positive and never lose hope. Make the most of every blessed day and ensure you develop yourself, build your capacity so that you can become bigger than your present challenges.

Remember that every day has its own potentials, never lose it. Every tomorrow has its own opportunities, Don’t throw away its beauty.

Take time to reflect on your life and learn from the mistakes you have made rather than put blame on life itself or external circumstances. Don’t forget, that you are not alone and the world is not against you.

 

Put things into proper perspective and i tell you, whatever you are going through will surely pass!

To Your Happiness!

Bode Araoye

Life Strategist | Personal Growth Expert | Business Trainer

STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING!

Often times we worry so much about how badly things are in our lives. We focus so much on how nothing seems to be going right, how we don’t have enough, and the challenges that life presents, so much that we are often deprived of enjoying our lives at the present moment.

When your life is filled with worry, you’ll be deprived of living your present in a way that will allow you to take actions that will change your future for better.

Challenges are synonymous with life. They are gifts of life. The only people free from challenges are those in the graveyard. Every challenges comes with it’s own unique opportunities if we can look deep enough to see. Majority often miss out on the opportunities cause they are often overwhelmed by the challenges and as such let their lives be controlled by stress.

How To Stop Worrying and Start Living;

• Acknowledge that problems are part of life. Every problem comes with its own unique seeds of opportunities.

• Understand that no condition is permanent. This life is fleeting and so is everything in it. Time heals all wound!

• Power of Perspective. There’s always something positive to focus on in any negative situation. For example, you go out with your friends to eat in a canteen and the food turns out to be bad. You can get so angry because you feel you have wasted your money and you can just focus on the positive that at least you get to enjoy the company of your friends.

Learn to always reflect and focus on the positives.

• Focus on what you can control and take action. Anytime you are faced with a challenge, focus on what you can change and go ahead to change it.

• Gratitude. This unlocks the fullness of life. If you can begin to focus on a regular basis on all of life’s gifts and blessings in your life, you can increase your sense of well-being, and create hope and optimism for the future – No matter what your present life looks like.

No matter how bad the present seems, there are always lots of things in our lives to be grateful for. For the fact that you have life, that you have eyes to read this, you have good health, and so many other things. Be happy and express your gratitude to the Giver of Life. Do this on a regular basis and you will be amazed at how your life will be transformed from ugliness to beauty. It works like magic.

Don’t Be deprived of living to enjoy your present moment. I sincerely hope that your life will be filled with lovely moments and that you will always find reasons to be happy.

To Your Happiness

Bode Araoye

Life Strategist.