Often times in this part of the world where I come from have i heard people said words like, “life is not fair”. In fact, it’s a very common thing.
Growing up, I remembered having found myself in situations that made me uttered the same words that ‘life is unfair’. I’ve gone into arguments with friends because of those words and I’ve tried to analyze that same paradigm with few other friends.
I realized that the time I’d uttered such words in the past were times when life was very difficult for me; times when things were not going as planned and times when i felt that i had not been privileged to have enough opportunities. I realized that the situation was the same for people that usually utter such words.
I remembered having marvelled at the concept of choice. How we don’t get to choose our place of birth, time of birth, our parents, skin colour, our race and also our time of death. Life must really be a privilege i thought. Little wonder some people are ususally regarded as “less privileged”.
There is a common yoruba saying that, “he who has a head, has no cap and he who has a cap, has no head”. That is the reaction that yoruba people used to give whenever they feel that opportunity is in the hands of someone who doesn’t know its worth especially when they themselves feel they don’t have enough opportunities.
Yet, what usually amazes me is how the pages of history are filled with names and stories of people who, despite having no background and a very humble beginning, managed to achieve greatness.
I realized that truly, we all have a choice. The reality is that we don’t get to choose our circumstances but we choose how we respond to those circumstances. It is not circusmstances that define our reality, it is how we choose to respond.
I am not here to preach to you. Neither am I here to debate whether or not life is fair. I just want to give you a proposition that you can choose to accept or not.
The reality is that no matter what has happened to you or what is happening to you right now, there are people who have gone through similar situations or even worse than yours and had managed to turn it to their advantage. The reality is there are some who had given up on their lives too because of simailar situations. It’s all about choice.
No matter what you are passing through, understand that it could be worse. The reality is not even far fetched. It’s all around you. If your parents are not supportive, realize that some don’t even have parents. If your child is causing you troubles, some don’t even have a child. If your meal is bad, some don’t even have anything to eat. If you are poor and healthy, understand that there are some wealthy people who have never enjoyed a great health. Is it your house or shoe that is bad? Or even your clothes? Understand some don’t have a home, some don’t even have legs and yet some have gone mad and could only parade the streets without clothes on. If you have graduated but no job, understand some can’t even afford to go to school. It’s all about perspective.
The reality is that, as you look at people who are ahead of you and think that life is unfair, understand that there are those below you too that felt that life is unfair because you are better than them.
Believing that life is unfair is a great problem because more than words, it’s a paradigm. It manifests as self-pity, pessimism, and low self-esteem. It makes you feel helpless, and take a passive approach to life. Youwill simply live by merely accepting whatever comes your way and you will never stand for anything in life.
Every challenge is here to teach you something and also to make you become better. If only you could realize. Focus on what you can do and be grateful for all that you have. Develop yourself and learn from every situation you find yourself. Learn from other people’s experiences too and realize that whatever you choose to believe and how you choose to act is up to you.
You have the power to respond powerfully when faced with challenging times and as you choose to act powerfully, you will realize be amazed how how beautiful your life will turn out to be.
“IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO YOU”!
To Your Happiness!
Bode Araoye
Life Strategist | Personal Growth Expert | Business Trainer